Family

I don’t care if it bothers you when I talk about my kids.

I see you. I see you getting annoyed because I am again talking about my kids. I see you immediately becoming disengaged as soon as I mention one of them. I see you being kid-less and pitying people with kids because you think we need a life and interests outside of our children.  I see you. Heck, I used to be you. Even though I understand how you feel, I don’t care. Here’s why.

I moved out of my parents’ home when I was 18, and I did not have my first child until I was almost 30.  I partied and traveled and went to concerts and shows.  Even though I did go to college and work, for 12 years I pretty much did whatever else I wanted. For those 12 years I was the one that felt sorry for the people who could not shut up about their damn kids.

About a year after my husband and I were married my annual woman’s visit turned into an exploratory surgery to check out a large mass on one of my ovaries. I was told that the entire ovary may need to be removed. The surgery went fine, and I got to keep both my ovaries. It did, however, bring my feelings of wanting to have children to the forefront. I had finally meet and married the man I was supposed to spend my life with. I did want children with him, and I did not want any difficulty or hardships with making that happen. A few months after the surgery I was pregnant with our son and a year after he was born I was pregnant with our daughter.

The cliche things everyone tells you about having kids is true. You cannot fully understand the love a parent has for their children until you are a parent. Your heart just grows a big new place for them that is filled with love so strong it sometimes feels like you cannot keep it in your chest.  I had so much time to myself before having my kids, that now I am totally okay with kids being the main stage in our lives right now.

My husband is awesome, and we work together to make sure the other still gets time for things we enjoy like uninterrupted baths, reading books that do not have animated pictures, or occasionally eating at places that do not have crayons. I do not feel like I am missing out on anything.

I am fully capable of talking to a kid-less person about their lives, pets, jobs, and interests. I am fully capable of carrying on a conversation about Game of Thrones or what is going on at work without mentioning my children. Also though people tend to talk about things that are important to them, and for me, my family is the most important thing. So if I talk about my kids and it bothers you, I don’t care. Who knows though, maybe one day in 12 years you will feel that way too.

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32 thoughts on “I don’t care if it bothers you when I talk about my kids.

  1. I’m positive not all child-free people are like this (because I am one) and just as positive that not all parents are so kid-focused (because I’m the daughter of one). 2 of my sisters have 2 kids each. They love to hear me talk about my parties and my travels and sometimes they’re jealous but they’re not worried about saying that because they know that I KNOW that their kids are the world to them because I know how fantastic they are. Because they’re my world too. And there could never be enough photos of them in my inbox or nights spent babysitting them or gifts bought thoughtfully for them or time just spent watching them at play (or begging me for ANOTHER tractor ride). But my sisters, surprisingly, remember not to condescend to me. I choose not to have children, but my life is 100% full of love and life and they know that. My life isn’t less important. I’m not missing out. And neither are they. We just made different choices.

    And anyone who doesn’t want to hear about the thing you’re most passionate about isn’t really your friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love this and I completely agree with you!

    I’ve heard people criticize parents on Facebook, for ax ample, for posting too many photos of their kids. Often these complainers are the same ones posting billions of selfies or photos of their lunches, lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It doesn’t bother me! I love kids 🙂 Right now, I don’t have any, although I was the stepmom for two great girls for years. I’m 46 so not sure it’s going to happen for me. I feel relatively neutral about it….I’m ok either way. Best thing I can do is take one step in front of the other and love everyone, right? Thank you for sharing your loving of your children with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t have children, but have no issue with my friends talking to me about their kids. I love to hear all their stories and my friends kids are a huge part of their life’s so by extension a huge part of mine. We all go on trips together, I help my friends out with their kids and we plan outings/ days away around the kids. However, I also have had acquaintances who have kids slip into conversations with me questions like “why don’t you have kids?” “when are you planning to have kids” ” “you can’t leave it too late” etc etc. These questions/ statements are really insensitive. Not everyone wants to have kids or indeed can have kids. Whilst I don’t mind others speaking about their children, its not on for people to dictate to me that i should have kids and put that pressure on me.

    Like

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