I see you. I see you getting annoyed because I am again talking about my kids. I see you (co-worker, acquaintance, extended family member, etc) immediately becoming disengaged as soon as I mention one of my kids. I see you being kid-less and pitying me since I have kids. You think I need a life and interests outside of my children. I see you. Heck, I used to be you. Even though I understand how you feel, I don’t care. Here’s why.
I moved out of my parents’ home when I was 18, and I did not have my first child until I was almost 30. I partied and traveled and went to concerts and shows. Even though I did go to college and work, for 12 years I pretty much did whatever else I wanted. For those 12 years I was the one that felt sorry for the people who could not shut up about their kids.
About a year after my husband and I were married, my annual wellness visit turned into an exploratory surgery to check out a large mass on one of my ovaries. I was told that the entire ovary may need to be removed. The surgery went fine. It did, however, bring my feelings of wanting to have children to the forefront.
I had finally meet and married the man I was going to spend my life with. I did want children with him, and I did not want any difficulty or hardships with making that happen. A few months after the surgery I was pregnant with our son. A year after he was born I was pregnant with our daughter.
The cliche things everyone tells you about having kids is true. You cannot fully understand the love a parent has for their children until you are a parent. Your heart just grows a big new place for them that is filled with love so strong it sometimes feels like you cannot keep it in your chest. I had so much time to myself before having my kids, that now I am totally okay with kids being the main stage in our lives right now.
My husband is awesome, and we work together to make sure the other still gets time for things we enjoy like uninterrupted baths, reading books that do not have animated pictures, or occasionally eating at places that do not have crayons. I do not feel like I am missing out on anything.
I am fully capable of talking to a kid-less person about their lives, pets, jobs, and interests. I am fully capable of carrying on a conversation about Game of Thrones or what is going on at work without mentioning my children. Also though people tend to talk about things that are important to them, and for me, my family is the most important thing. So if I talk about my kids and it bothers you, I don’t care. Who knows though, maybe one day in 12 years you will feel that way too.