My husband and I have an almost 4 year old son and an almost 2 year old daughter. You know the phrase ‘daddy’s girl”? Well I didn’t realize how true that could be.
I do not think parents should have favorites. I think you can have favorite foods and books and movies, but I do not think people should have favorite children. My kids have such different strengths, personalities, and sense of humors. They are their own people that grew inside of my body. Comparing them and picking a favorite would be like me trying to decide whether I should eat grass or dirt. It does not make sense to me biologically. If for some reason there is a favorite, I do not think it should ever be stated so it does not cause harmful feelings between family members. That’s just how I feel about it. Kids on the other hand, they sometimes do have favorites. It may be a stage or a million factors at play, but sometimes they do have favorites. My husband is my daughter’s favorite.
Awhile ago she had an especially intense stint of favoritism that lasted for several months. During that time she refused to say mommy. When I would reach out to pick her up she would point her finger at me, scream ‘NOOOOOO”, go to my husband, and burrow down as far as she could into his chest. If I tried to dress or change her it was a struggle while she cried out for daddy the entire time.
Eventually she started saying mommy again and stopped shrieking like I was violently trying to kidnap her. Nothing changed. I do not know why this little phase started or stopped. I say little phase, but a few months of this felt like a lot longer. She is totally on board and okay with mommy now, but she is still a daddy’s girl. And that’s okay.
I would like to say it did not bother me. I would like to say I was a big enough person that I shrugged it off. I would like to say I was thankful I had a husband and she had a father that took care of her so well she could not be with out him. It did bother me though. I did not cry myself to sleep at night, but my feelings were hurt. I had to taper back flash forwards of her being a teenage terror to me or talking to a shrink about her mommy issues as an adult. I just tried not to react or make a big deal of it, but an occasional snarky comment was made from time to time. So mature, I know.
Now that I am happily seeing this from the other side it is easier for me to be that bigger person I wanted to be before. Really deep down even in the tough times I am always thankful my husband is such a wonderful father to our children. He obviously takes great care of them and is a place of safety and comfort for them and for me too. We are blessed to have him, and I wish him a very happy Father’s Day.