Family

Here’s why we don’t visit more.

If you read my post I came back to work so I can get some rest from earlier this week, you may remember that I took my kids to visit their great grandmother who lives about 3 hours away. As we were leaving she thanked us and said she knows it is hard to get up to visit. It’s true. It is hard. I think a lot of it is the ages the kids are at right now, just shy of 2 and 4. Here is what my husband and I find difficult about away visits even though we do want to see everyone.

  • It gets the kids off their schedule. They can get too excited and miss their nap and in turn get cranky. They can also nap too long in the car and don’t go to bed on time later that night.
  • It takes us several days to get them back on schedule when we get home. This is probably the biggest and hardest one.
  • We respect your possessions. Our house is totally kid proofed. We also are not buying anything new or nice until the kids are a bit older. So if something happens at our house it is not a huge deal. People who do not have small kids generally don’t keep their house kid friendly, and really they shouldn’t have to. But it it can make refereeing toddlers a challenge during a visit.
  • As parents we are “on” the entire visit. Away visits are not relaxing or restful for us. The kids are out of their element. We are working to keep your house in one piece and the kids decently behaved. Of course we do this at home too, but it is easier at home rather than a different or new place.
  • This one is selfish, I know. Sometimes at the end of a long work week it’s hard to muster up that extra bit I need to pack and load and drive and herd the kids for a visit. This was especially true when I had a much longer commute through the week.
  • If it is an entire weekend visit, I go back to work not rested and the laundry is behind. I know this kind of piggy backs off the previous point, but it’s true.
  • We have pets, That is just an extra level of complication whether you have kids or not. We do have two mini dachshunds to think about. Is whoever you are visiting okay with you bringing them? Will they stay home? Who will come and feed and water them? (Side note to dog lovers, check out What my our dachshunds taught me about parenting.)

I assume it’ll get easy as they get older, but that’s just me assuming. Parents with kids who are older than mine, does it get easier? Parents with kids around my age, do you have a hard time taking your kids on weekend or far away visits too?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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17 thoughts on “Here’s why we don’t visit more.

    1. Yes you are so right. Nothing is a “quick trip”, even if you just need one thing. I used to think drive thru anythings were so lazy. Now I think everything should be a drive thru!

      Thanks for reading it 🙂

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  1. It is hard, and definitely gets easier the older they get. But, it is sometimes just necessary to visit family. People are very important. Our lives aren’t about always being comfortable or well rested (I definitely believe in balance ). But they should be about investing in other people. Your kids should be a part of the “other” people you invest in, but not the only ones. I’ve been in a season of trying to rest more and ‘do’ less, for me it’s so much about balance.
    I want the people I love to feel loved by the time I took to come visit. This last weekend, I was exhausted from throwing my 6 y/o a birthday party. I mean EXHAUSTED! I had 10 little girls stay the night. But someone called on Saturday to invite us over, and it was just what they needed, was for us to be there. Did I feel like it, no, did we bless them, yes. This world is soooooooo much about me me me, these kids are growing up so entitled, I want to show my kids that ‘other’ people are worth the sacrifice of being exhausted or all my chores not getting done.
    I also just started saying no more often lately, so I’m learning balance. I’m a work in progress. 🙂
    These are just my thoughts, what we do, I, in no means mean to offend anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a great comment, thank you. Yes people are an investment for sure. We do make the visits but not as much as we could/should/others would like.

      I find when I am super busy and not resting I’m very susceptible to getting sick. We started to really fiercely make sure we aren’t overbooked or run down after I became the primary income provider, especially when I didn’t have paid time off at my last job.

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  2. Oh how I remember packing up four lil ones for trips! You are spot on, on everything! Good thing Nana & Papa moved closer, yeah?! lololololol Thanx for going, G-G-Mother LUVED ecery minute of it, as did I.
    muaw!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t have the kid-proofing issues, but I do have a cat that needs to be fed and watered twice a day. It’s difficult right now because I’m leaving tomorrow morning for a trip to Salt Lake City for a week, and I live in SE Wisconsin. Right now my cat is not tolerating her food well, and this just adds to my anxieties about leaving her for a week. It’s a 3 1/2 hour flight and a different time zone, and there is nothing I can do if my cat caretaker has problems with the cat (She bites too!).

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, I can fully relate 🙂 I just read your other post, isn’t it uncanny how our pets teach us so much about people and how to deal with situations. Dixie and Snicker Doodles are absolutely gorgeous. Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We too, have the issue about going out. I am very protective with our pets, they basically are my children too, and I do not like leaving them for a minute. I feel no-one will take care of them as I can. Going away on a holiday is just not an option.

    Liked by 1 person

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