The Straw that Broke this Mama’s Back

It was a $5 bag of miniature magnifying glasses. That’s the straw that broke my back, a $5 bag of miniature magnifying glasses.

This time last year our TV was on the verge of going out. The TV screen was covered in so many white dots that it looked liked like we were watching it through a blizzard. The part to fix it would be just shy of what a new TV would cost. So we waited for black Friday and holiday sales to roll around. We waited. Then we searched and searched and searched until we knew we had found the best deal for what we wanted.

Last week I got a text from my husband that our 4 year old son put a yo-yo through the new TV. Our son put a yo-yo through the TV that we shopped for about as long as we owned it. My son told my husband right away, apologized, and has even tried to pay to have it fixed in chocolate coins.

We have our health I said. We have each other I said. It’s just a TV I said.

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A month or two ago I was driving to work and noticed the beautiful glimmer that is usually on the steering wheel from my wedding ring was replaced with a dull empty space. The diamond in the setting was not there. After retracing my steps and looking everywhere I pulled out the papers from when it was purchased to realize it wasn’t insured based on a technicality. I hadn’t taken it back to the jewelers every 6 months to get is cleaned.

We haven’t gotten it replaced because so many people told me so many stories about finding lost gems from their jewelry in the most random places later. Also it’s going to, you know, be the cost of a diamond.

We have our health I said. We have each other I said. It’s just a ring I said.

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This was the first year my son was old enough to comprehend and understand about his birthday. It was really fun leading up to it because he had been looking forward to it so much. A month before his party I had ordered a $5 bag of miniature magnifying glasses to use as an activity and for party favors. When it came time to get the party stuff together I went to the top shelf of the pantry behind a door with a child proof handle, where the kids can’t reach. The magnifying glasses weren’t there. I searched the house high and low for these stupid magnifying glasses. They weren’t anywhere to be found.

What followed may have also been influenced from battling a 5 day long migraine/sinus headache combo and not sleeping well. This mommy lost it. Shrill incoherent sentence fragments and expletives streamed out of me. My husband and the kids went to the back yard to “play” so mommy “could have a moment.”

I know my husband thought I was crazy or taking it out on him. But really I think I just snapped at the idea of having to replace something else that we had barely used. And you know what? I also needed a break from being positive for everyone else. This sucked.

The money to replace the TV will come from something else we want or need. I don’t wear jewelry except for my ring. I feel naked without it.  Also, I knew nobody at the party would even know or care if those stupid magnifying glasses weren’t there. It was one more thing that I had put effort into that was needlessly lost without being used though.

Yes we are indeed are blessed with our health, each other, and our needs are met. These are all items that we don’t need to live or even be happy. But they are things that we spent time and energy and hard earned money on. I needed to be upset for a moment instead of being the one to be positive for everyone else, even it was just over a $5 bag of miniature magnifying glasses.

So I ordered another bag of magnifying glasses, and then found the missing ones a few days after the party. I have no clue how they ended up inside a random piece of Tupperware in the cabinet. No clue.