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Let’s talk about our kids and their right to privacy.

Lacey

Let’s talk about our kids and their right to privacy. Specifically I am curious about your thoughts regarding parenting in the day and age of social media. We have all heard the phrase “Facebook perfect”, referring to editing what you post or only posting the very best of what is happening in your life. While I do not believe it is right to create a facade, I also do not think it is appropriate on any platform to air your dirty laundry for all your friends and acquaintances to see. I’m not claiming to have found the balance, and I am sure that balance is different for everyone. As a parent though it does make me wonder about our children’s right to privacy before they are old enough to choose for themselves what gets posted about them in the digital world.

Even though they are innocent in nature, as I have scrolled past pictures of kids on the toilet or in their underwear around the stage of growing out of toddler-hood, I’ve wondered if those kids would ever mind if they knew that had been shared. Does it matter since they probably will never know? Will it be weird for them when they get older to know their whole childhood was on display or will that just be normal? I don’t know.

My kids are 2 and 4. So I am at the very beginning of this journey. Up until and including right now I think I probably post a lot about my kids. On Facebook I am a little more personal since I am friends with only my real life friends and family. Also I’ve come to have a love/hate relationship with the On This Day feature. As a blogger  though wrestling with this question recently, I have tried to keep the focus on MY perspective and take on experiences when writing about mom stuff and keeping anything that maybe more personal about my kids out.

For those with kids too young to ask about their thoughts on what you are posting about them, do you have any rules about posting now? Do you have any plans or rules for posting in the future as they get older?

For those with kids that are older than mine, I wonder if there is a certain age you started asking your kids if you post something about them? Or do you go ahead and post and expect an eye roll? Do your kids even care? Is there an understanding that certain topics are off limits?

For all, has anyone else posted something about your child that bothered you? When you post about a child that is not yours do you ask the parents for permission?

This is purely to get others’ opinions and takes on the subject because I am truly curious about how other parents or even grandparents feel about the topic. Thanks in advance for your comments and thoughts!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

29 thoughts on “Let’s talk about our kids and their right to privacy.”

  1. Yes, this is a very sensitive subject to me. If I post anything about my children on my blog it always has to be tasteful and kid-friendly. No nudity, no profanity, no nonsense. As a parent you have to be protective. My oldest is always asked before I post anything about her. And if I am posting about other children, I get the parents’ permission first. Go with what your heart tells you. 😄

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    1. Thanks Debbie! It’s just been on my mind since my kids are out of the baby stage but not old enough to ask or know yet what they want people to know. It makes me want to be extra cautious.

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  4. Hey Lacey– great topic to bring up! My kids are all grown, you know, and have kids of they own. So I do post things we do with them, but try to post only things that are totally positive– which brings it around to bloggers posting only “the best of what is happening in your life.” I don’t want to not be authentic, but for me, I don’t want to bring out the hard things in life on my blog– I have friends I talk with and pray with every week who know my real ups and downs. And — I also have a mom– who is an 85 year old Facebook expert! So I’m the object of her posts and sometimes grimace at unflattering photos etc!! But I know she means best and has lots of friends she wants to share her family with. I think it’s all about being kind. And saving the negative parts of your life for your real circle of friends…

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  5. I think this is an interesting and difficult topic. Even a kid should have ownership of their own story and image, and since this is really the first wave, we don’t even know the repercussions yet of where all this sharing brings us. I tend to be cautious on the internet but sometimes I wonder – what’s the point? It’s EVERYWHERE.

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    1. Yes! So true, this is the first wave. Ugh can you imagine all the case studies that could come from all this?

      Since it is everywhere, it can be kind of overwhelming for me to think about.

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  6. I’ve not heard of issues with kids that young. Its usually kids in their teens showing themselves off. I didn’t pay things with pics of others kids and i would expect the same of others, but alas its not always the case.

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  7. I’ve been thinking about this a lot too!!!! I’m even cautious on sharing super thought out, appropriate, happy stuff because of creepers.

    My oldest is now 5 so I think about it even more now that he’s developed friendships that are carrying into elementary school.

    I might message you privately sometime. Really good post.

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    1. Yes please feel free to. I don’t have the answers but question it a lot. There was a ton of conversation when I posted to my personal fb page. I may do a follow up post with some of the feed back I got.

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  9. Hey! my daughter is 3 and i love photographing her so I always struggle with what to share of facebook/instagram and what to leave out. Part of it out of concern of privacy and partly because I don’t want to spam people’s newsfeeds with pictures of my child. So I keep it limited and only post artistic pictures, the ones where she is part of a bigger scenery. I am also definitely struggling with whether or not to share her pics on the blog, given its public.

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  10. What a great topic and discussion…I too am so torn with my kids and privacy. When I created my blog, we talked it over as a family and decided I would never show any photos of my kids. (One of my kids actually protested, so I promised)…we compromised with photos of maybe their backs or their non-identifying shoes/clothes, etc. Now that I have good blogger friends and know this wonderful community, I am tempted to show photos, but should probably stick to my own rule for my kids’ sake. I talk about my kids, and have TONS of good hiking photos that I have to omit from the blogs, but a promise is a promise. It is extremely tough though, as a mom with a love of photos and kids, I want to share too 🙂 And some of our hikes are so much more personalized and one can see the joy and wonder in their eyes when they see something new, but I can’t show it :0. Unfortunately the cat is out of the bag when it comes to Facebook…I figured I can select the audience, etc., but then I hear about people’s accounts getting hacked! Well, there’s no going back, and that’s how our family discussed it for the blog so it was a decision I have to respect. It’s super tempting though! Realistically though, these days, everyone’s info is out there. So as much as we try to protect, it’s not foolproof. :0

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