Blogging is interesting. There’s a handful of bloggers that I “talk with” several times a week and have for almost my entire duration of blogging. I follow what is going on with them. I feel like they are my friends, even though we’ve never met. That’s the way it is with Debbie at ForgivingConnects.
Debbie has been through things in her life that I cannot ever imagine being able to forgive. But everyday she dedicates her blog and her life to helping people learn how to forgive. She has to be one of the most encouraging people I know. When she read about my pregnancy she reached out to send me a forgiving gift box to help nurture me in the early stages, which I had been STRUGGLING with. I wasn’t struggling from a lack of excitement, but I was so sick it was hard to function.
Her package came the day after we found out we are having a baby girl. How appropriate she wrapped it in pink!
The Loving Each Day for Moms and Dad book sits in my windowsill so I can grab it anytime. My husband and I started our list of potential baby names in the heart notebook. My son took the bags of lavender but kindly rearranges them throughout the house as needed. Like if you take a nap, one may be laying next to you when you wake. Debbie also included a card with an invitation for a complimentary forgiving coaching session.
Now you might not know this about me, but I’m a mixed bag when it comes to a lot of things. Forgiving is one of those things. I can usually be quick to forgive. There are some instance in my life though that I have held some pretty serious grudges, where forgiving does not come easy for me. So I graciously accepted Debbie’s offer.
The session was scheduled to be for 90 minutes. I told her I didn’t know if I’d be able to keep the kids appeased or be able to talk about myself for that long. Debbie knew better. She politely said we’ll try it and see how it goes. Then she sent a list of 5 questions for me to answer and send back before our session. Wow these 5 questions really needled in and got to the point.
Well crap. I think I may need more help than I realize, I thought to myself after answering these questions.
We did our session remote on a Friday afternoon after work, when I am the most tired. Debbie started the session with a quiet moment of prayer that forced me to slow down. And then I did what I didn’t think was possible. I talked Debbie’s ear off for the entire 90 minutes! Afterwards I wasn’t tired, and I felt much lighter.
The specifics of what we talked about are too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing. (Ironic, I know, because I’m writing about this on my personal blog.) I had 3 big “aha” revelation moments. I took notes during our session and have gone back and will continue to go back and re-read what I wrote during these moments.
Then, Debbie was able to give me some manageable steps to practice in my daily life and long term. She called them tools toward forgiveness. And when I say “practice” I do mean practice. Debbie says forgiving is a choice, and like I mentioned before, that choice does not always come easy for me.
So I’d like to thank you, Debbie. I’d like to thank you for the your thoughtful gifts and the time you gave to help me. Thank you for your friendship.
Debbie is on a blog break currently but still has tons of good stuff to check out. I’d like to encourage you to visit it by clicking here. If you want to know what she is up to currently, check out her Forgiving Forum on Facebook by clicking here. I promise you’ll find something uplifting, and if you are struggling with forgiveness in your life she’s the woman you should be reaching out to.
***This is also my contribution to Debbie’s Forgiving Friday series.***
It sounds interesting, forgiveness is something in short supply these days and it’s amazing that Debbie does this.
How are you getting on? 🙂
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It really was interesting. It is for sure something I have to work on, but I think I’m getting better.
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I think much of it falls to acceptance and understanding other perspectives a little 🙂
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It’s hard when you’ve been hurt or wronged by someone sometimes to be able to step away to see that, but I totally agree with you.
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That’s the thing, but sometimes someone has been quite unreasonable and even if you try you can’t step away I’ve had this a few times and it digs into me.
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Yes I guess we can’t rationalize with irrational people. . .
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Nope… That never works 😀
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Simon it’s lovely to connect with you! Feel free to email me anytime if you want to. Love what you wrote about acceptance – it’s one of the greatest keys to forgiving that I know. Blessings to you. (My email is weloveyou@forgivingconnects.com)
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Hi there, thanks for the comment. I’ll give you a shout sometime yes? 😀
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forgiveness is a gift to yourself. it’s great that you’ve created this relationship in the blogosphere and have fostered it beyond comments.
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It’s true, it is a gift to yourself, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. And it was really neat to connect outside of our blogs. A very unique experience I feel blessed to have had.
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I’m fascinated. I’ve never heard of a counselor who specializes in forgiveness and now that I have I wonder why there aren’t more of them. If there’s one behavior that could change our world for the better it’d be forgiveness– well, combined with more pleases & thank yous. Maybe that all goes hand-in-hand.
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Yes! That alone really got to the root of so many issues I have and maybe didn’t even realize I need to work.
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Isn’t she just the best? I love her spirit. Her smile makes my day.
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She does have the very best spirit.
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Oh thank you so much! I am really touched by this. 🙂 Blessings, Debbie
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OH!!! I LOVE Debbie. She is so pure and good and full of light. She is a true and precious person. I love what she sent to you. I love what you accomplished together…I love this post! ❤
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Oh this comment made me SO happy. Thank you:)
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Thank you for sharing! Brightened my day, and love Debbie’s approach to coaching and meaningful connection with coaching clients. Inspiring!
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Inspiring is a perfect word to describe her.
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The best forms of behavior change are having someone you admire and respect to model your behavior after. Coaches can be excellent for that. As can parents (you do that awesomely for your kids 😉!)
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Oh Kris, it’s Tuesday and already been a long week. So that was so nice to read. Thank you!
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I think forgiveness is a lot about releasing oneself. Often it is a process that can take years. Other times it’s so quick and easy to forgive, as you said.
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Yes I guess it’s circumstantial when it’s easy and when it’s not. It’s hard for me when the other person doesn’t realize or care that they’ve hurt me. I think that’s when I sometimes hold a grudge.
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Yeah. I’m good at grudges too. Just the other day I was looking up the difference between resentment and bitterness. It’s good to deal with it.
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One of my revaluation moments was actually realizing the difference between guilt and resentment.
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Ok 🙂 It’s good to stop and differentiate isn’t it? It kind of makes the ‘mess’ manageable as you can deal with each issue one at a time, or/and, one layer at a time. God bless ❤
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Totally agree!
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Lacey I am so touched by this post! It was a blessing to do this coaching session with you. You are incredibly courageous.
So glad to see that you’re continuing to read the notes you took during our session, they can be key reminders for you to nurture yourself and to forgive ❤
Feel free to be in touch anytime! And enjoy Loving Each Day for Moms and Dads by John-Roger. The quotes are so kind and loving, and I love how the pages are perforated so you can post ones that truly speak to you.
You are an amazing human being, Lacey. I acknowledge you for your honesty and your willingness to forgive. That is a masters path.
Blessings to you, Lacey, and to your husband and kids and adorable baby-to-be. I love you. ❤ ~Debbie
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Thank you! This has been an amazing experience, and I so appreciate you and what you do, Debbie. Also, I really kind of love that the page of the book are perforated for that reason.
I hope you are doing well friend!
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Lacey, this is lovely. Debbie sounds amazing and so caring. I definitely will go over and see her stuff. Take care and hope you are feeling better. 🙂
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Thanks for checking her blog out. It’ll be a bright spot on your feed:)
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Interesting madam
https://sugamhindi.wordpress.com
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What a lovely post…I’m so glad I popped by, I hope all is well and wish you all the best (& feel so blessed to have found Debbie’s beautiful site as well!)!
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Thank you for stopping by!
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My pleasure!
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